Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

If you could fast forward to a specific date in the future, when would it be?  Photographers, artists, poets: show us FORWARD.

via Daily Prompt: Fast Forward.

I don’t know why anyone would want to rush time to the future.  If I could do anything about time, I would slow it down and cherish each moment the way I know I that should every time I look back on my past.

If you fast forward to a specific date, you will have arrived in the present time and will constantly be running towards the next moment without enjoying the present one.

Children don’t rush to be adults.  Adults don’t rush to your next phase.  Seniors don’t rush to your death.  If we all take a minute and slow down, you might realize why we should.

 

Video

Tyrese Gibson – Compartmentalization Part 2 (Must Watch) “LOYALTY HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE”

Part 2 from Tyrese Gibson. Words of wisdom about taking control of your own life. What’s on your menu? Do you like what is served at your table or will you send it back? It is always your choice. You need to change your mind to change your life! Preach!

Letting Go

IMG_8323[1]It has been awhile since I blogged.  First, because of vacation and Thanksgiving and then I have been super swamped at work.

Last month was kind of rocky for me.  I was very anxious and I didn’t know how to handle how I was feeling but in the last few days, I managed to pick myself up again.  I started to remember what was important to me, well maybe not what’s important but rather what makes rational sense.

I have had all these fears about trust, betrayal, liars, failure, invasion, etc. and for what?  The fear only holds me back from moving on.  Trust is a big issue for me and it’s really something that I need to dismiss.  I can still be myself and be good to people and I shouldn’t have to worry or fear their betrayal because if they lie, cheat or damage the trust that is fine and do you know why?  The reason is at the end of the day, I will still have me. I will still be the person I was and the person I am.  Knowing that I did my best in whatever type of relationship I have whether it be friends, family or romance, I will know that I gave my best, I was honest and I didn’t hurt anyone.

The bottom line is that fear is a wasted emotion.  Rather than being an emotion it’s a thought that manifests into action by taking away action.  Fear has held me back for so many years in many aspects of my life and I am ready to let it go.  I am not going to worry or jeopardize my future because I am afraid of losing, missing, or getting hurt.

If you hurt me, the joke is on you.  Hurting me only shows pain in your reflection.  Lying to me, cheating me, that isn’t going to hurt me, it will hurt you because at the end, you will have lost the person who didn’t do those things to you and I will have the lost the person who did.  I think I win that battle.

I also realized that there are no mistakes.  There are only observers who judge us.  My so-called mistake may be a blessing that only I can see or only you can see.  Life still goes on.  Nothing in life is that detrimental (besides death related choices) that it can’t be fixed or handled or dealt with on a new path.  Just because you aren’t on the road you set out to travel on, doesn’t mean your destination isn’t where you are supposed to be.  Everything we do leading up to this moment hasn’t been made in vain.  If the oxygen is still running through our bodies and we wake up another day, whatever judgement that was passed on us yesterday has been released because we are still alive to do better.

I am not going to let anyone hurt me anymore.  I am not going to be defeated anymore. That doesn’t mean I am fighting the fight, it just means that I am not going entertain the observers.  I am going to do the best I can with what I have and love my final destination because it is my journey and I chose it myself whether it was consciously or not.

Nerd Alert!

IMG_8214[1]Last night at 12:00am, technically this morning, I walked into GameStop and picked up my Day One XBOX ONE!!  It was exciting.  We only waited  in line for about 25 minutes and it took about a minute at the register.  We obviously reserved ours before hand and it was a good thing because if you didn’t reserve it ahead of time, they had no more to sell outside of the reserved list!!

I never pre-ordered, reserved or waited outside a store for a Day One anything in my life.  I am glad I did especially because there were maybe 40 people on line at most.  It wasn’t crazy, it wasn’t freezing and I had my best friend with me.  He was really excited when we got home.  Setting up all the stuff like a little kid on Christmas.  It was cute as much I hate to admit his cuteness because he’s a “stupidhead”.

Anyway, I digress.  We exchanged 360 COD:Ghosts for XBox One game and I think I am going to download Madden NFL 25 and all the other games we want right from the system.  Tonight, I am making my own profile and little avatar and that makes me happy.  So yay!  My very own XBOX ONE!!

Time Travel [Daily Prompt: A Bird, a Plane, You!]

You get to choose one superpower. Pick one of these, and explain your choice:

  • the ability to speak and understand any language
  • the ability to travel through time
  • the ability to make any two people agree with each other

Photographers, artists, poets: show us POWER.

via Daily Prompt: A Bird, a Plane, You!.

If I had to choose one of the powers, I would choose to travel through time.  With this power, I can still carry around a translator and use my persuasion to make people agree.

Why Time Travel?  Uhm, because who wouldn’t want to see the world in different eras, phases of the earth and I would probably try to alter some things if I could to make things better now.  I would just love to see how people lived in different centuries long ago, spend a few days in each time, in different parts of the world without putting myself in danger.  I think that would be an exhilarating experience.

Flagpole Sitta [Daily Prompt: Fright Night]

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?  Photographers, artists, poets: show us FRIGHTENING.

via Daily Prompt: Fright Night.

I am even afraid to tell you because I am afraid some crazy person would use it against me.   I think that’s called Paranoid.

Paranoia, paranoia
Everybody’s comin’ to get me
Just say you never met me
I’m runnin’ underground with the moles
Diggin’ holes
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring
But if you’re bored then you’re boring
The agony and the irony, they’re killing me, whoa!
-Harvey Danger “Flagpole Sitta”

In My Eyes [Daily Prompt: Perspective]

Think about something that drives you crazy. Now, think about something that makes you happy. Does it change your perspective?  Photographers, artists, poets: show us a PERSPECTIVE.

via Daily Prompt: Perspective.

Perspective is the key word.  Something that drives me crazy might make another person happy.  But I digress.

Something that makes me absolutely crazy is when I am lied to and taken advantage of.  Something that makes me really happy is knowing that I can really trust someone and feeling at ease.

Because I have had bad experiences in the past with being told to lie to my family for my mother’s benefit which eventually led to her departure and neglect, being lied to by her, close friends, ex-boyfriends and being cheated on also which to me just is a deeper lie, I have been quick to hold back from trusting too many people.  Past or no past, our experience shape us for tomorrow.  I am not saying that my trust issues will not change but merely explaining some of the reasons why I have come to be who I am today.

Being able to really trust a person gives me a feeling of such relief.  No worries, no cares but the smallest of lies can cause the most unsettling disruption and it is hard to recover from but for those who try to make up for it, I appreciate that and take that into great consideration.

My perspective on things are jaded to say the least but I plan on changing the path once again.  I have a long, difficult road ahead of me but one day there will be a peaceful light at the end of the tunnel and I will be able to sigh relief that I made it through.

Cruella Deville [Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch]

Write about evil: how you understand it (or don’t), what you think it means, or a way it’s manifested, either in the world at large or in your life.  Photographers, artists, poets: show us EVIL.

via Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch.

I used to believe in the innocence we all possessed and how pure we all could be.  A long, long time ago.  If you assumed it was in my adolescence, you would be correct.

As you grow older and you experience how much pain can be construed, all those beliefs you had a child seems like a far away in the distance fictional memory.

I don’t know if I understand evil in the sense that I know why it even has to exist, seriously but I have seen what it can do.  It isn’t the physical world that possesses it either.  People are mean.  They show us evil.  They are the examples that not even words can describe.

There are different evils too.  Some worse than others but all the same if you are participating in an action that hurts someone somewhere.  To me, evil is its least lethal form is just simply taking advantage of another person.  Looking at a person who has let their guard down and opened their soul to you.  Taking that precious gift without appreciation and diminishing it by your own selfish agenda.  That to me is evil.

No one likes an anti-bacterial, anti-itch spray on an open flesh wound.  And I say that because, when you open your heart to someone and you let your guard down, your heart is, figuratively speaking, exposed.  When someone hurts you deliberately or not even deliberately but takes that exposure for granted it burns, it stings and it makes you feel like the world is an evil place, in turn, stitching up your heart with a thicker thread.

Then of course, there are the people who kill, hurt children, adults, steal, lie, and cheat.  And the other evils that are considered more natural such as natural disasters, sickness and to some people, death.  I do believe all of what is here in this world has been created by us in some way, in some form and maybe not right now but over time.

So remember the world isn’t an evil place, it is you and I who can’t learn to love each other more than we love ourselves and until then, evil will grow until we destroy ourselves.  It won’t be the world’s fault.  It will be ours.